Adventures of the Magical Donut & Abraham Lincoln
by sleepingdead
Summary: Yuki gets stuck with babysitting duty for Ryuuichi, but Ryuuichi somehow magically disappears. How can Yuki find one man in all of Tokyo when he can't even find a pack of cigarettes? Yuki x Shuuichi, Tatsuha + Ryuuichi
1. Ryuchan will have so much fun!

The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln 

Notes:  (You no have to read notes if you dun want to.)  It's one o'clock now.  That's, one o'clock AM.  I'm not an insomniac.  It's not that I can't fall asleep; it's that I choose not to.

My poor computer.  I leave it on all day as I'm downloading (ooohhhh, I love downloading…. really, I do), and then now, at one o'clock, I decide I should go to sleep.  So I turn it off, go and pour myself a glass of milk, pout over the fact that we're out of chocolate syrup so it had to be _regular_ milk, and then come back here, in my room, and turn my computer back on.  Poor thing, it's gonna catch fire and burn down my house.  I think my dad would get mad if that happened.

Oh, yeah, in this story, I always mention how much Shuuichi and Ryuuichi look alike.  Well, to tell the truth, I really don't think they look alike at all, other than they are built sort of similarly, and it also depends on which personality of Ryuuichi you're talking about.  In fact, I think Shuuichi looks like Ryuuichi about as much as Hikaru looks like Nova in Rayearth……  Anyway, the whole look-alike-thing compliments this story, and since everyone seems to think that they look soooo much alike, I decided, why not use it?

And if you don't get the Abraham Lincoln part of the title after reading it, you probably won't ever, 'cause I'm not telling.  I'll give you a hint though.  Watch _Robin Hood: Men In Tights_, and it might make a little more sense, though not much.

Warning:  Incoherence, as usually found in wee-hour-in-the-morning writings, and possibly some shounen-ai.  Probably, but I don't really know.  I haven't written it yet.  Maybe it would make more sense to type this up after I write it.  That would be good for a normal person, but I know I'll forget.  I'm growing a mouth now, so some swearing may ensue.  I also tend to string phrase after phrase after clause after sentence after sentence together, separating them by only commas, if that.  Yes, these are considered run-ons, and I know what I'm doing is wrong and grammatically incorrect, but hey, I can do what I want.  It's my story.  And besides, Charles Dickens did it all the time.  So why can't I?

Disclaimer: I'm really thirsty with no more milk.

Uh, Gravitation doesn't belong to me.  Neither does Ryuuichi.  But, maybe he's included in 'Gravitation?' If not…  I don't own any of the characters either.  Only the sentences, if that's what they're called.

Chapter 1 

_Knock, knock, __knock, knock, __knock, knock, __knock, knock, knock, knock, KNOCK, KNOCK._

Dammit.  Who the hell knocks that loud?

"What do you want?" Yuki Eiri shouted at the door, wiping the sand out of his eyes.  'Cause he was sleeping.  You  know, the sandman?

"It's Tohma."

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Open the door, Eiri-san."  Smile.  Or, at least, Yuki assumed he was smiling, because he always smiled.

Yuki sighed.  And sighed again.  This couch was too comfy.  And Yuki hadn't slept for a few days before this…

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!_

God, for such a scrawny man, he sure could pound.  On the door, if you were thinking something else.

"What?" Yuki muttered as he forced himself onto his feet with all his self-discipline.  He would have looked through the peephole, just to keep Tohma waiting, but he was too tired.  He opened the door, lazily fiddling with the locks.

Sure enough, there was Tohma, in his women's funeral netting, with his arms crossed and a feminine pout on his face.  Hmm, I wish I were as stylish as Tohma.  Next to him stood a very short (well, he seemed short because Tohma is so much taller than he looks) brown-haired, blue-eyed giant purple people eater.  Uh, no, a very short, brown-haired, blue-eyed boy.  A boy, and he looked kinda familiar, but it was dark, not to mention late, or early, depending on if you're a morning person or a night person, and Yuki couldn't quite place him.  Never mind, it just came to him.  He was that singer.  The one that his boyfriend and his little brother obsessed over.  Yuki thought back, trying to remember his name.  He remembered it sounded like Shuuichi, but different.  Oh, a lot of help that did now.

"Eiri-san," Tohma said, tilting his head to the side.  "I need you to take Ryuuichi for awhile."

Ryuuichi.  That was it.

Wait…  "What do you mean, 'take him?'" Yuki asked, blinking his eyes.

"Well, he needs a place to stay," Tohma said.

"What's wrong with his place?"

"It burned down."

"How?"

"I told him not to play with matches…"

"Forget it," Yuki muttered, grasping the handle of the door and preparing to slam it shut in Tohma's face.  He loved to do that.

It was then that his amber eyes met those deep blue ones.  Blink.  Blink, blink.  Blink.  Nyaaaaaaaa, he looked like Shuuichi.  That wasn't fair.

"Eiri-san," Tohma said.  "Just take care of him for awhile."

"Oh?  Now I have to 'take care' of him?" Yuki asked, crossing his arms as if to mock Tohma.  Tohma noticed this and let his fall to his sides.  Yuki smirked.  "Why don't you take care of him?"

Twitch.  "I don't want to."

Twitch, twitch.  "What makes you think that I do?"

Blink.  "I don't care if you do or do not.  You have to."

"Why?"

"Because I said so," Tohma said so.  "And I'm older and richer.  So there."

"Fine.  Why don't you just rent a hotel room for him?"

Blink.  Damn, Yuki, why do you have to be so smart?  You're ruining my story, stupid.

"He needs to be _taken care of_," Tohma said slowly.  Yay, Tohma just got rid of my plot hole!  Yay!  …Did I just say 'plot?'  Heh…oops.

Tohma smirked, and then shoved Ryuuichi into Yuki's apartment.  It seemed like he was using the singer as a weapon, because he had perfect aim and sent them both toppling to the floor.  By the time Yuki managed to shove the singer off him (which wasn't too hard because he's so little), Tohma had already disappeared.

Yuki looked into those big blue eyes.  Blink.  Dammit, where was Shuuichi?  Yuki turned to fumble through his pockets in search for a cigarette, and, if he was lucky, a lighter too.  "Fine," he muttered.  "But don't you dare touch anyth—"  Yuki looked up to find Ryuuichi had disappeared.  Strange…

It was then that he heard it.  Ryuuichi was already in the back, his feet pounding against the hardwood floor, occasionally swinging the doors open, and then slamming them shut again with a quick glance inside the room to prove that Shuuichi wasn't in there.  "Shu-chan!  Shu-chan!  Guess what?  Guess what, guess what?  I get to live—" _Slam_ "—with you for awhile—" _slam, thump, thump, thump_ "—and we're gonna get to play together soooooooo much—" _slam_ "—and it's gonna be so much fuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!"

Pause.  _Slam_.  _Thump, thump…thump…thu--_  "SHUUICHI, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!"

Yuki got up and glanced around for his cigarettes.  He tried to remember if he had run out.  He hoped not—he had a lingering suspicion that he was going to need them.  A lot of them.  With a sigh, he gave up his search and dragged his feet into the back hallway to find Ryuuichi sitting on his heels in the middle of the floor, nearly in tears.  Yuki grabbed him by the scruff of his neck (a habit he picked up—he found out it was a much easier way to carry around Shuuichi) and dragged him across the floor.  To his surprise, Ryuuichi started giggling.  He seemed to be enjoying the ride.

"Let's get one thing straight," Yuki said as he lifted Ryuuichi off the floor and tucked him under his arm, just because he did not want the childish singer to enjoy anything about staying here so that he would never come back.  Ryuuichi seemed to like this position as well, though.  "You are not to touch anything, nor are you to make any noise.  You got that?"

"Do you have any chocolate milk?" Ryuuichi asked wistfully, seeing that they were nearing the kitchen.

"What?  Did you just hear me?"

"I love chocolate milk," Ryuuichi said.  Somehow he had escaped his position from under Yuki's arm and was now sitting cross-legged on the counter with his stuffed pink bunny stuffed (pardon the pun) in his lap.

"Hey, you're not listening!" Yuki said, trying to keep his temper under control.  He didn't believe it.  He had actually found someone _worse_ than Shuuichi.  …And by that I mean more annoying, in case you were thinking something else.

"I remember this one time when I wanted chocolate milk, but Tohma didn't have any so we had to walk four miles into town and—"

"HEY!!!" Yuki shouted.  He quieted, trying to remember the singer's name to attempt to get his attention.  It always worked with Shuuichi.  In fact, Shuuichi seemed to over-exaggerate his happiness whenever Yuki called his name.  Speaking of Shuuichi, where was that overly hyper, fluffy pink ball of rubber bands?  Yuki wished he would come home soon, if just to get someone to divert Ryuuichi's attention.  Diverted attention?  Yuki realized his attention was diverted, and immediately he diverted it back to the counter, but to no surprise, Ryuuichi was gone.

Yuki glanced around the room, but no Ryuuichi.  He then made his way back into the hallway and peeked into all the bedrooms, but no Ryuuichi.  He then looked in all the closets, but no Ryuuichi.  He then looked in the fridge, and in the stove, and under the bed, and in the microwave, and under the couch, and behind the TV, and in the medicine cabinet, and in the dresser, and behind the desk, and in his computer, and under the table, and in the coffee cup, but no Ryuuichi.  It was then that he noticed that he had left the front door open.  Yuki sighed.  Tohma was gonna kill him.  And where was Shuuichi?  He'd be a really big help right about now.


	2. Follow the magical donut!

The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln 

Notes:  It's 1:29 PM this time.  PM.  4th of July.  Brightness…sun…day…  Sitting here.  With lovely thoughts of Tohma and Ryu-chan crossing my head, I write this.  No Tohma and Ryu-chan.  It's Tatsuha and Ryuuichi, though I don't know why, since I hate that couple.  Well, I don't _hate _that couple…I just don't like it that much…  Ah well, does it matter?

Disclaimer:  No.

Warnings:  Shounen-ai, and lots more blinking.  Fragments too.  And maybe swearing.

With thanks for Spiwolf7 for helping me with my horribly awfully bad writer's block.  And 'Aniki' means 'Brother' (for the idiot peering over my shoulder as I type this…).  Just after I thank her too…

Chapter 2 

Ryuuichi looked at the pink flowers.  He bent over a sniffed them.  They smelled nice.  Like candy.  He wanted to pick them, but then he remembered back to when Tohma said not to pick flowers because it killed them.  Tohma said that he forgave Ryu-chan, though, even though he picked Mika's entire garden.  Ryuuichi never found out if Mika-san forgave him or not, though.

"Ne, Kumagorou," Ryuuichi said to his bunny.  He looked at the pink flower, and then held Kumagorou up so it could smell it too.  "It smells good, huh?"

Ryuuichi looked at Kumagorou, then he reached out and stroked the flower.  It was soft.  "Ne, Kumagorou," he said to his bunny, "you think maybe we can pick it just this once, even though Tohma said not to, so we can give it to Yuki-san to thank him for letting us live with him?"

He watched Kumagorou as the pink rabbit gave its reply.

"You're right.  Just this once will be okay," Ryuuichi said.  He looked at all the pretty flowers, trying to decide which one was the prettiest, then decided on the one he had been smelling originally.  That one was special.

Placing his hand at the base of the stem, he gently tore the flower off, trying to cause it as little pain as possible.  He let Kumagorou sniff it again, then turned around to Yuki-san to give it to him.  But then he realized that Yuki wasn't there.  Hmm, that was strange; he had thought that Yuki followed him out of the apartment.  Oh well.  Ryuuichi gently tucked the flower safely away in his coat pocket for safekeeping, and then he waltzed away, hugging Kumagorou while humming some unrecognizable tune.

Yuki glanced to the left.  Then he glanced to the right.  Then to the left again.  Then to the right.  Left.  Right.  Left.  Right……….

Arrrgghhh!  (sigh of frustration).  Where did that little Shuuichi-look-alike go?  He had probably already run across the street and was hit by a car.  Yeah, that would make things easier.  Oh, but he could just imagine Tohma's face when he found out his precious rock star was dead.  Shudder.

Speaking of Tohma, Yuki could have sworn he just heard the said man call his name.

"Eiri-san?"  Oh, sure enough, there he stood in his usual five-layers-of-clothing fashion.  I wish I were as stylish as Tohma.

Yuki nearly jumped into the street.  "Wha—Where'd you come from?  Are you, like, following me or something?"

Tohma blinked, but he didn't answer.  "Where's Ryuuichi?"

"SHUT UP!  It's not my fault, okay?!?!" Yuki cried, tearing down the street, leaving a confubled Tohma behind.

Yuki swung around the corner of a random office building to find himself rolling on top of a familiar pink-haired idiot.  Shuuichi.

"Yu-Yuki?" Shuuichi asked, blinking at Yuki as if he (Shuuichi) had just been touched by an angel.  Which, in his screwed up mind, he probably thought he had been.

"Shuuichi?" Yuki asked, cursing himself for getting all floaty (in reference to CCS) at the sight of his lovey-dovey, cute, little, pink-haired, purple-eyed, big-mouthed fluffball.  Oooh, Shuuichi….

Blink, blink.  Blink.

"Quit blinking, idiot!" Yuki shouted, swatting Shuuichi on the head.  "It reminds me too much of that other idiot."

"What other idiot?"

Now, what was his name?  "Ryuuichi…"

"Eh?  You know Sakuma-san?" Shuuichi cried, flinging his arms around Yuki's neck for some random Shuuichi reason.  "Wow, me too!"

"Have you seen him anywhere?" Yuki asked hopefully as he attempted to pry Shuuichi from around his neck.

Shuuichi let go.  "Why do you want to know?  Yu-Yuki, are you…are you…. areyouhavinganaffairwithSakuma-san……?   I knew it!  I knew the whole time!  You only put up with me because I look like him, huh?  You're really in love with him!  Aren't you?  Aren't you?  Huh?  Huh?"

"Shut up, idiot," Yuki said, fumbling through his pockets for a cigarette.  It was then he remembered that he didn't know where they were.  "I hate that stupid singer more than I hate you."

Shuuichi's eyes filled with gleeful tears.  "Yu-Yuuuukkkkkiiiiiii!!!  I love you!!!!!!!"

Yuki felt the arms around his neck again.  "Get off me, idiot, I have to find him now."

"Eh?  Why?"

"Because I told Tohma I would."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the one who lost him in the first place."

"Why?"

"Uh, well…"

"NAAAAA, YUKIIIIII, YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!!!!!  AREN'T YOU, AREN'T YOUUUUUUU?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"I said no, idiot!" Yuki yelled, rising to his feet and dragging Shuuichi up with him.  "Apparently, he's living with us now."

"Eh?  Really?  Sakuma-san's living with us?" Shuuichi asked, blinking his purple orbs.  He then began to turn all puddly and float around.  "Ooooooh, my dream has come truuuueeeeee…"

Yuki fished him out of the air.  "Tell me where he is!"

"I don't know!" Shuuichi cried.  He actually cried, with tears and everything.

"Quit crying," Yuki muttered and resisted the urge to search for another cigarette.  "Do you know where he might be?"

"No."

"Well, come on, we have to find him before Tohma comes."  With that, he dragged his little pink-haired lovepup to his feet and down the street.

Ryuuichi's mouth was watering.  He was looking at those scrumptious little chocolate things, and he really liked chocolate, so he wanted some, but he didn't have any money.  Hmm, Yuki never answered his question as to whether or not they had chocolate milk.  He would still like some now, though.

Ryuuichi decided it was time to go back.  Uh, to Yuki's apartment.  Maybe Shuuichi would be there now.  Yeah, that'd be so much fun, if Shuuichi was there, 'cause then they could play with Kumagorou and have a whole lots of fun.  A whole lots.

Ryuuichi looked up at the street sign.  112th Street.  Ryuuichi thought back.  He remembered all the streets in Tokyo were numbered, but he liked it better in America because they had actual names that he could remember better and he didn't get lost as much, and then he wasn't late and K wouldn't hold a gun to his head.  But the streets were numbered here, and Ryuuichi couldn't remember if the even ones ran east or west.

Suddenly Ryuuichi began wishing Tohma were there.  Whenever he was lost, Tohma was there.  Sigh, now he was lost and Tohma wasn't there.  Ryuuichi wondered what he was doing so that he couldn't come to Ryu-chan's rescue.  Maybe he was with Eiri-san.  Ryuuichi wasn't too sure who Eiri-san was, but Tohma always talked about him, so Ryuuichi figured that that's where he was.  Yup, he was sure of it.

"Eh?  Wait a sec, are you—" said a voice.  At first, Ryuuichi thought it was Kumagorou, 'cause it kinda sounded like him, but then he realized that it was coming from the black-haired person kneeling on the ground next to his feet.

"Uh-oh, did you fall?" Ryuuichi asked, bending over so he could see the boy's lowered face.

"I-I have met God, and he asked if I fell?" the boy said.  He lifted his head so that Ryuuichi could see his eyes, and—

"YUUUKIIII!  I found you!" Ryuuichi cried as he glomped the black-haired boy, whom immediately passed out.  Ryuuichi looked at the limp body in his arms.  "Oh?  I wonder if he was sleepy, Kumagorou.  That's weird; usually people don't fall asleep in the middle of the street.  Funny Yuki!"

Hmm…

Ryuuichi stared at the boy.  His hair was black.  When did Yuki dye his hair?  And why was he sleeping?  Ryuuichi poked his cheek.

Hmm…

Poke, pokepokepokepokepoke…

Hmm…

"Yuuukiii?  What's wrong, Yuki?  Yuki?" Ryuuichi whined, tears welling in his eyes.  "YUKI'S DEAD, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!"

"Eh?  But you have no faults, my sweet…" Yuki muttered as he turned in his sleep.  Ryuuichi wiped a tear away from his eyes and began to shake Yuki in hopes of waking him.

"YukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYukiYuki—"

"Shuuichi?  Is that you?" Yuki asked, opening his eyes slightly.  "But I'm not even pretending to be Eiri this time…  Why have you—"  Blink.  "SAKUMA-SAN?"

"Yuki?  Are you okay?  I'm so sorry!" Ryuuichi cried, hiding his face in Yuki's shoulder.  Yuki seemed to really like this gesture, as he seemed to grip Ryuuichi's shoulders and pull his face closer.

"Yuki?  I'm not Yuki…"

"WAAAH!  Yuki, you've got amnesia!!!"

Yuki smiled innocently.  "No, I'm not Yuki.  Yuki's my older brother, you see…"

"Oh," Ryuuichi said, and then dropped Yuki's little brother onto the pavement.  "Sorry."

"Wait!" Yuki's little brother shouted, and Ryuuichi looked down at him.  "I can…take you to my brother, or something, because I, uh, I know where he lives."

"Oh, me too!  I live there now too," Ryuuichi said with a satisfied grin on his face.

"You're living with my brother?  After I already claimed you as mine?  WHAT HAPPENED TO SHUUICHI, ANIKI?"

"Shuuichi lives there too," Ryuuichi said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Sakuma-san, that's disgusting.  I can't believe that you, the god of all gods, would take part in something like _that_."

Blink, blink.  "Like what?"

"You know, _that_."

Blink.  Blink, blink.  "What?"

"_That_."

"What?"  Blink.

"_That_."

"What?"  Blink, blink, blink, blink.

"Well, uh, then I guess you don't…  I just can't believe Aniki didn't tell me he was living with a god," Yuki's little brother said.

"There's a god there?"

"You're God, Sakuma-san," Yuki's little brother said, giving Ryuuichi a look that glinted in the sunlight.  He had shiny eyes.  Ryu-chan liked shiny things.  He liked to touch them, so he reached out for Yuki's little brother, but when the latter backed away nervously, Ryuuichi remembered that Tohma had told him not to touch strangers because most strangers didn't like to be touched.

But if strangers don't like to be touched, Ryuuichi couldn't figure out for the life of him why Yuki's little brother did what he did next.  He reached out and pulled Ryuuichi down on the pavement next to him and forced his lips onto Ryuuichi's.  Ryuuichi squeaked in surprise and tried to get away, but Yuki's little brother was stronger than him and he couldn't.

"You frickin' pedophile!" Yuki shouted.  Yuki's little brother let Ryuuichi go, and the latter whimpered and backed away quickly.

"No, Aniki, I was the one who kissed him!" Yuki's little brother said.

"I was talking to you," Yuki said, pointing his finger at his little brother.

"Gosh, Tatsuha, I didn't know you felt that way about Ryuuichi," Shuuichi said, seeming to pop out of nowhere, just like Yuki had.

"Like it wasn't obvious—hey!" Yuki cried, glaring at Ryuuichi, whom had just latched onto Shuuichi and was wiping his tears on his shoulder.

"Shu-chan, he was being mean!" Ryuuichi cried.  Shuuichi lifted his hand and stroked Ryuuichi's hair soothingly, causing Yuki to lift a suspicious eyebrow.  Ryuuichi raised his head and stared at Shuuichi, and Shuuichi stared back silently.  They looked like they were about to kiss, so Yuki intervened by dragging Ryuuichi off by his collar.

"You idiot, why did you leave?" Yuki said irritably to the dangling Ryuuichi, who was too short so his feet didn't reach the ground.

"I thought you were right behind me!" 

"Idiot."  No use arguing with an idiot.  Yuki turned to his little brother.  "And why are you here?"

Tatsuha smiled and held up his hands innocently.  "To see you, dear Aniki, and little Shuuichi too.  And—" he glanced over at Ryuuichi.

"Tch," Yuki grumbled.  He walked over to his brother, giving him the death glare.

"U-uh, Aniki, what…  Why—How could you look at your own brother like that?"

"If we didn't look exactly alike, I'd swear you're adopted," Yuki muttered.  It was then he remembered Ryuuichi, and turned around to grab the little square pumpkin before he disappeared again, but he was too late.  Ryuuichi was gone.  "SHUUICHI, WHERE DID YOUR TWIN GO?!?!"

Shuuichi 'eep-ed' and bounced out of his daze, in which he was staring at Yuki like he was some sort of angelic deity that had come to screw him to death and then take him up to rock star heaven.

"Uh, I thought you were watching him," Shuuichi cried.  And he actually cried, with tears and all.

Yuki growled, and then marched off without a word.  He couldn't believe he'd ever agreed to this, not that he did actually agree, but I'm sure if he really tried to refuse persistently, Tohma wouldn't have been able to force Ryuuichi upon him…  Uh, that sounds bad.

Anyway, he stormed off, with Shuuichi running behind him, crying out about how sorry he was, and Tatsuha slinking off into the darkness with his own plan in mind.

Ryuuichi's mouth was watering.  Again.  He stared at those little chocolate things.  This time, he could read the sign though, since it was in simple kana, and no kanji.  "Donuts."  That's what it said.  They looked tasty.  Yum.  Donuts.

This glass was so clean.  Ryuuichi wondered how they got it so clean, because he had run into it earlier thinking it wasn't there at all.  It looked almost like he could reach those donuts with his tongue.  Yeah, it sure looked like it.  In fact, he was sure he could.  Yeah.  So he stuck out his tongue, and leaned closer, and closer, and closer, until his tongue hit the glass.  It was hard and cold and tasted like glass cleaner.  Why he knows what that tastes like is beyond me, but he _is_ Ryuuichi, after all.  Ryuuichi groaned and leaned back and scratched his head.  He wasn't expecting the donut to taste like _that_.

Suddenly, the door to the donut shop swung open and a very stocky Japanese man hopped out.

"You stupid asshole!" the man cried, pointing a finger at Ryuuichi.  Ryuuichi looked around to see who the man was talking to, then when no one was around he realized that it must be him.  He blinked and pointed to himself innocently.

"Phwee?"

"Yeah, you!" the baker shouted.  "I'm sick of you licking my windows.  This is the fourth time.  If I have to clean that window of your spit one more time…"

But Ryuuichi wasn't listening.  He saw a donut.  But this donut was strange.  It floated.  What a strange donut.  Ryuuichi wondered if this one was special, and didn't taste like glass cleaner.  It was so intriguing that he followed it when it began to fly away.

"Where the hell did that stupid-head go?" Yuki cried.  Shuuichi blinked at him.

"Yuki, did you just say, 'stupid-head?'" Shuuichi asked.  Yuki almost fell over.  Had he?  Dammit, that stupid-head was making him lose his coolness.

"No, idiot.  Why would I say something so dumb?" Yuki replied, crossing his arms over his chest.  "And what happened to Tatsuha?"

"Eh?  Oh, yeah, I forgot about him," Shuuichi said, placing his finger on his chin.  "Wonder where he is…"

Yuki sighed.  "Where do we go now?"

"I don't know."

"Where would you be right now if you suddenly disappeared and were lost on the streets of Tokyo?" Yuki asked.

"Why?"

"Because you and he are both idiots," Yuki said slowly, so Shuuichi could understand.  "And idiots think alike."

"Oh," Shuuichi said.  So, he thought, Yuki would go wherever he told him to…  Yeah, wherever.  Shuuichi could use this opportunity to his advantage.  It was like a date, and Yuki was actually paying attention to him.  Ryuuichi, being a full 31-years-old could take care of himself, Shuuichi decided.  "Thank you, Sakuma-san," Shuuichi muttered under his breath, then turned to Yuki.  "I know.  He must be at…the donut shop!" Shuuichi cried.  He'd love to go to the donut shop to have to have a nice, chocolate donut all alone with Yuki.

The donut was flying pretty fast, and Ryuuichi had to walk briskly to keep up.  He thought it would fly over the ocean, and that would be bad because Ryuuichi couldn't swim, nor could he fly (he found that out the hard way, Tohma had been really mad after that hospital bill came in), but he really really really wanted a taste of that donut.

While he was thinking about all this, though, the donut stopped, and Ryuuichi almost tripped over his foot trying to stop evenly with it.  Then it changed directions, so Ryuuichi followed it again.  It seemed to get darker, for some reason, but then the donut stopped again, so Ryuuichi didn't have time to think about it.  He happily reached out and to his delight, the donut stayed where it was and allowed him to clasp onto it with both his hands.  Ryuuichi giggled happily as he took a bite out of it.  It didn't taste like glass cleaner like those other donuts.  He was right; it tasted like chocolate donut.

It tasted so good that he took another bite.  He felt sorry about eating something so magical, but it just tasted so good.  So he took another bite, and another, and another, and another, until it was all gone.  Ryuuichi was sad that it was gone, because it was really good, but once again, something even stranger diverted his attention.  There was a string in his mouth.  Ryuuichi picked up the string in his hands.  It was strange, how did that get in his mouth?  Oh well.  Ryuuichi began to run his hands down the string to see where it led.  His hands followed it all the way down to where it was attached to a stick, which was being held in a hand.  The hand then dropped the stick and proceeded to close the car door with a click.

_Click_.  Ryuuichi blinked.  Blink.  Blink, blink.  That was strange; how did he get in a car?  Ryuuichi looked around.  It sure was dark in here.  It must have been that magical donut.  Stupid magical donut!  He would now consume as punishment.  Ryuuichi looked around.  It must have disappeared, with its magical abilities, because it was nowhere in sight.  It wasn't in his hands, where he left it last; it wasn't on the floor, or on the seat, or on the ceiling, or on the string, or the stick, or Yuki's little brother's face…

"Hey, I know you!" Ryuuichi said, pointing at Tatsuha.  He then blushed and put his finger down, remembering that Tohma said he shouldn't point at people because people didn't like to be pointed at.

Tatsuha smiled wickedly and patted Ryuuichi on the head.  "Do you want another donut, Sakuma-san?"

Ryuuichi blinked and smiled and nodded spastically.  "Yeah, yeah, I do, I do!"

"Well, then, you have to _cooperate_ for me…"

Blink, blink.


	3. A note for Ryuchan!

The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln 

Notes:  Oh my, daylight…  Oh my, my my my.  Why am I writing this during the day?  Help me.  I've gone insane.  

Thank you, Spiwolf7, once more, for sitting here.

Disclaimer:  Bondage is my hobby, but Ryu-chan and Tohma are not real, so I didn't save my money to buy Gravitation.

Warning:  Yaoi.  Shuuichi.  Swearing…Lots of suggestive dialogue and snide comments on my part.  And my puppy dog is sooo cute, and you can't have her.  More blinking, too.

Chapter 3 

Shuuichi pressed against the glass, his mouth watering at the sight of all the delicious donuts.  Those chocolate ones looked really good.  Shuuichi wanted to share one of those chocolate ones with Yuki, maybe having it end up like it did in that one cartoon with the pretty puppy dog-ess and the tramp.  Tramp, as in male street dog, if you were thinking something else.  You know, that thing with the spaghetti (though Shuuichi could never figure out why the restaurant would serve dogs) where they were eating it and then it ended up being the same strand and then they kept eating it and it ended up that they kissed.  Yeah, Shuuichi wanted that to happen with him and Yuki.

Suddenly, the baker shot out of the doorway and pointed an accusing finger at Shuuichi.  "I told you never to come back, asshole!  Yeah, I know it's you!  That stupid pink mop of a wig won't fool me!  If you lick that glass one more time—" but he was cut off, because Yuki stepped up to him with his evil death glare.  The baker squeaked and immediately proceeded to cower, as everyone seems to do when Yuki looks at them like that, with the few exceptions of Tatsuha and Tohma.

Yuki, as much as Shuuichi wanted to deny it, wasn't glaring on behalf of his pink-haired boyfriend.  The truth was, he could only think of two people who would possibly lick glass, and that was Shuuichi and Ryuuichi.  Since he knew it wasn't Shuuichi, since he had been with him this entire time, he assumed it must be Ryuuichi, more so because the baker was yelling at Shuuichi, which meant that he mistook Shuuichi for Ryuuichi since they look _so_ much alike.

"C-Can I help you, s-sir?" the baker asked through his cowering.

"The idiot who was licking the glass.  Where did he go?" Yuki demanded.

"I-I thought he got in a car with, well, y-you, sir, and sped off," the baker said.

"With me?"

"Y-yeah, only…your hair was black."

Yuki scowled, which made the baker squeak and run back inside the shop to lock the door.  Yuki turned around and grabbed the scruff of Shuuichi's neck, just in time to prevent him from licking the glass.

"Ahh!  Yuki!  I want a donut!" Shuuichi cried, trying to pry Yuki's fingers from his neck.

"Shut up, idiot!" Yuki snapped.  "I think the idiot's with Tatsuha now.  Which means not just his life is at stake now, but also his virginity."

"Ooooh…."

Ryuuichi 'eep-ed' as Tatsuha rubbed his head against the older man's chest. 

"Ahh, Sakuma-san, you're soooo soft…"

Blink.  Blink, blink.

"Ne, Tatsuha-san," Ryuuichi started, trying to gently push the boy away.  "Ne…Tatsuha-san?  Tatsuha…san…?"

"Ahh, Sakuma-san…."

"Ne, Tatsuha-san?  Ta-tsu-ha…san…"

"Ahh, Sakuma-san…."

"TATSUHA-SAN, LET GO OF ME!!!!!!"

Tatsuha looked at Ryuuichi.  Blink, blink, blink.  "Eh?  Oh, I'm sorry…" he said, getting off of Ryuuichi.  He got that shiny look in his eyes again, and Ryuuichi resisted the urge to touch them again.  "I guess we're here."

"Where?"

"Here."

"Where?"

"Here."

"Where?"

"Look, Sakuma-san," Tatsuha said irritably, pointing out into the sunlight as they stepped out of the car.  Ryuuichi had to blink a few times before his eyes adjusted to the light, but then he saw it.  It was a very large tree.

"Oooh, that is big!" Ryuuichi cried, clapping his hands in delight.

"I know, this is the most expensive hotel in the city," Tatsuha said, placing his hands on his hips and smirking.  "All I had to do was sneak into my brother's wallet while he and Shuuichi—"

"That's a hotel?" Ryuuichi asked, running up to the tree.  He walked all the way around it, and then he did it again.  "But where's the door?"

"U-uh, no, Sakuma-san…" Tatsuha started, staring at the lovey-dovey nummy yummy bunny fluffy-duffy pink wonder boy as if he were an idiot.  Not to say that he wasn't, that was just how Tatsuha was staring at him.  "No, Sakuma-sa—"  Tatsuha jumped up and grabbed Ryuuichi's foot just before it disappeared into the branches.

"NAAAHHH!!!  LET GO!!!" Ryuuichi cried, kicking out his feet and flailing his arms—thus, he let go of the tree and came falling down upon Tatsuha.  Tatsuha grunted but didn't get up.  He didn't seem to be able to.

"Ugghhkk," Tatsuha choked out.

"Uhnn, Tatsuha-san?  Tatsuha-san?  TATSUHA-SANNNNNNNNN!!!!  I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!!!!!  I KILLED YOU AGAIN!!!!" Ryuuichi screamed, tears flying out of his eyes.  He began to pound on Tatsuha's chest as he bawled loudly, attracting more than a few spectators.

"I'll forgive you, Sakuma-san, if you'll do something for me…" Tatsuha said, getting that shiny glint in his eyes again.  Don't touch.

"Anything, anything, I'll do anything!" Ryuuichi cried, wiping his tears on Tatsuha's shirt.

Tatsuha's eyes glinted even shinier.  Don't touch.

Tatsuha rose to his feet, easily lifting Ryuuichi up with him.  He began to walk, but Ryuuichi didn't know where he was going.  So he asked.

"Where are you going?"

"To the hotel," Tatsuha answered.

"But, but, the hotel's that way!" Ryuuichi said, pointing to the large tree.  Tatsuha sighed.

"No, Sakuma-san, _that's_ the hotel," he said, pointing to a large, well-decorated building that suddenly appeared before them.

"Hey, when did that get here?" Ryuuichi asked with a giggle as Tatsuha carried him off.

"Yukiii!  YUUKIII!  Yuki, Yuki, Yuki!  You're going too fast!  I can't keep up!  You're too tall!" Shuuichi screamed as he dashed after his tall, blond, puppy-duppy love-dove, whom was putting up a rather good chase for such a heavy smoker.

"Idiot, hurry up!  He's gonna catch us!" Yuki yelled behind him at the pink-haired love-ball trying horribly to keep up with him.

"Naa!  Why are we trying to hide from Tohma anyway?" Shuuichi yelled, choking over his dry throat.  He hadn't exercised this much since he was in high school.  I mean, he didn't have to.  He always stayed so small anyway, no matter how much he ate, so what's the point of doing something physically demanding?

"If he finds out I lost that idiot twice, I'm gonna die!" Yuki yelled back.

Shuuichi laughed.  "Tohma wouldn't kill you, Yuki!  I mean, have you even seen the way he looks at y—umph!"  Shuuichi suddenly was met with Yuki's broad back.

"Idiot, watch where you're going," Yuki uttered, pulling Shuuichi into something that resembled a headlock.  Shuuichi flailed his arms and yelled, but when Yuki let go and shoved him against the wall of the dark alleyway they were in right now, Shuuichi quieted.

"Ne, Yuki…" Shuuichi looked up into those incredibly narrow, utterly delicious, completely stupendous, extremely gorgeous yellow catlike eyes.  "Are you going to kiss me?"

"Idiot," Yuki muttered, his hand instinctively reaching down to his pocket for another cigarette.  Dammit.  "We have to keep going.  I know that was him that I saw in the street.  I don't know anyone else who dresses like that…  I think he's following me."

"Don't you want to, Yuki?" Shuuichi asked, looking up at him with those big puppy eyes.

"What?"

"Don't you want to kiss me, Yuki?"

"No," Yuki lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely sure?"

"Yes."

"Positively sure?"

"Yes."

"Totally, completely, utterly—"

"Shut up, idiot!" Yuki yelled, pushing Shuuichi against the wall again.  Shuuichi looked up at him with tearful eyes.

"Why are you being so mean, Yuki?"

Teardrop.  Drip, drip, drip.  Drip.

Yuki sighed as he looked into those big purple orbs…  Blink, blink.  Blink.  Sigh….

"Idiot," he muttered as he leaned in closer.  And closer, until their lips were so close that they could feel each other's breath.  Opening his mouth, he closed the distance and—

Censor.

Tatsuha looked at Ryuuichi, tapping his pencil on the desk.  Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…  What was the word he was looking for?

Ryuuichi made an airplane noise as Kumagorou soared through the air and hit Tatsuha right on his head.  Blink, blink.  How could he have missed the bright pink bunny flying straight at his head?  Blink.  He must be really out of it.

Ryuuichi snickered and jumped up to his feet, so that he was standing in the middle of the king-sized bed.  He began to bounce a bit, before lifting his feet and pounding back down as hard as he could so that the springs would fling him up into the air even farther.  He laughed in between each jump.

Sigh…  He sure was cute…  And handsome—

"Ransom, that's the word," Tatsuha said, and then turned to scribble it down on the piece of paper placed on the desk in front of him.

"Kumagorou!"

Scribble.  Scribble.  Scratch, scribble.  Man, ransom notes were easier to write than Tatsuha had thought.

"Kumagorou!"

Scribble, scribble.  Erase.  Scribble.

"Kumagorou!!!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scrib—

"I WANT KUMAGOROU RIGHT NOW!!!" Ryuuichi screamed as loud as he possibly could, which, by the way, was really loud.

It was only then that Tatsuha realized that Ryuuichi was yelling at him, and not his stuffed pink bunny.  He also realized, at this point, that the said bunny was still being cradled in his lap, after falling there from the impact with his skull.

"Sorry, Sakuma-san," Tatsuha said, carrying the pink bunny over to where Ryuuichi stood on the bed.  He was about to hand over the bunny when he noticed something changed about Ryuuichi.  Ryuuichi had removed his jacket, revealing a tank top that seemed almost too small for him and showed his slender waist, as well as his skintight jeans that hugged the lower curve of his hips so…sexily…

"Kumagorou!" Ryuuichi demanded, holding out his hands.

Tatsuha just stared at him dumbly, his mouth watering and ready to drool.

"GIVE ME KUMAGOROU!!!" Ryuuichi cried out, shaking his arms expectantly.

"Sa-Saku…ma…san…" Tatsuha stuttered.  He worked hard to keep his eyes from rolling up into his head and himself from fainting.  He was not expecting Ryuuichi to lunge at him, tackling him for dominion over the stuffed rabbit.

"Meanie!" Ryuuichi spat out once he had successfully rescued the damsel in distress from the evil Yuki clone.  

Sakuma Ryuuichi…was…sitting…on…top…of…him…

On top…  Just…sitting there…playing…with his bunny…

Tatsuha couldn't help it.  His idol was tempting him, so he decided to act.  With the speed of a raging lightning bolt striking the squirrel with the golden tooth in the middle of the baseball field, Tatsuha's hand snaked its way up Ryuuichi's waist, groping the soft skin beneath his shirt.  Tatsuha felt Ryuuichi tense above him, and he looked up to meet those giant blue eyes.

Blink.

If only he hadn't blinked, maybe Tatsuha would have been able to exercise some self-control and remove his hand from Ryuuichi's side, but he did blink with those awfully adorable eyes.  Within a few seconds, Tatsuha had Ryuuichi pinned to the bed, the latter staring at the former with pure and simple terror.  Well, maybe not _pure_ terror, because there was some confusion mixed in there as well, but it was mostly terror.

"Ku-Kumagorou-chan…" Ryuuichi whispered, breaking his gaze and vainly reaching out for the stuffed rabbit that had been dropped on the floor.  "Tatsuha-san, I need—" but he couldn't finish, because Tatsuha forced another kiss upon him, silencing him immediately.  The kiss lasted a long time, too, and it was different from the other one, though Ryuuichi couldn't quite decide how.  But it was strange, having someone's tongue in your mouth.  He had never really thought about doing something like this before, but it felt really…interesting.  

Tatsuha finally broke the kiss, and almost became angry when Ryuuichi began to giggle hysterically.  And he wouldn't stop giggling, too.  It was kind of disconcerting, but every single time Ryuuichi took a spastic gasp, Tatsuha could feel the soft skin of Ryuuichi's lithe stomach against his, and he wasn't about to get off to stop it.

"Did you like that, Sakuma-san?" Tatsuha asked, smiling evilly towards the singer.  He had that shiny glint in his eyes again.  Shiny, very shiny.  Ryu-chan wanted to reach out and touch them.  But then he remembered Tohma's words again, that people didn't like to be touched.  But then why was Tatsuha-san touching him?  It didn't make sense, especially since Tohma was wrong and Ryuuichi liked to be touched.  If Tohma was wrong, then Ryuuichi didn't have to listen to him.  And Tatsuha's eyes were so shiny, and Ryuuichi wanted to touch them really badly, so his lifted up his finger and pushed it forward just as Tatsuha leaned in for another kiss.

"OWWWWWW!!!!!!!" Tatsuha cried, falling over backwards onto the floor and clutching his throbbing eye.  "If you wanted me to stop, you could have just said so!"

Ryuuichi blinked.  Hnn, maybe Tohma was right after all.  "I'm sorry—"

"Whatever, I'm getting back to my ransom note for you," Tatsuha said, rising to his feet with much difficulty, seeing as though both his hands were pressed against his face.

"Oh?  You're writing a note for Ryu-chan?" Ryuuichi asked, pointing to himself and blinking.  "That's so nice, Tatsuha-san!  When will it be done, so I can read it?  Oh, but don't write it in kanji, okay?"

"No, uh, Sakuma-san…" Tatsuha started, but then decided against arguing.  There is, after all, no use arguing with an idiot.  With a sigh, he returned to his desk.  Great, now he would have to write a note for Ryuuichi too.

Ryuuichi stared at the back of Tatsuha's head.  He wondered briefly why Tatsuha didn't answer any of his questions.  Blink, blink.  But then, he saw it.  There was a door, and it was wide open.  Picking Kumagorou up and stuffing him under his arm, Ryuuichi proceeded to investigate this strange, phantom, ghost-infected open door.


	4. China in Japan!

The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln 

Notes:  1:04 AM.  Back to the welcoming darkness and wee-hour-of-the-morning randomness.  There is even more blinking yet, and on my part too, since I am falling asleep.  But I must set my biological clock back to its nocturnal state.  It got off because I had to get up early for all those doctor, orthodontist, and/or podiatrist appointments, but now I'm hoping to get back on schedule so I can stay up till about four.

You may be asking, in the last chapter, why I censored Shuuichi and Yuki's kiss, when I didn't for Tatsuha and Ryuuichi's.  That's nice that you ask so much, since it gets you more knowledge, but I'm not gonna answer that question.  Why, you may ask?  If you ask that, you _do_ ask too many questions.

Japanese 500,000 yen (¥500,000) = about $5,000.  I can't tell you exactly, because the currency rate changes everyday, but generally one yen is about equal to one American penny.  I have no idea what is in pounds or euros, for all you weird European people who don't use dollars and pennies and stick random U's in words like color (colour) and behavior (behaviour).  Heh!  Just kidding…  Heh, heh, bet you guys loved that one, huh?    No complaining about that in the reviews, okay?  It was a joke.  I love Europe, because people there are smarter than people here in America.  I mean, just look at how stupid I am, after all.  Oh, and in case you're really bad at math, or just ignored the rest of this paragraph, ¥5,000 = about $50.

Warnings: Yaoi, blinking, maybe some swearing, and more things that I don't know about since I haven't written it yet.  Oh, yeah, and I'm tackling this on my own, unlike the last one and one/half chapters, because Spiwolf7 had to go _home_.  Yeah, go home, and leave me here _all alone_ in the middle of the night, or early in the morning, trying to write this crap because I have nothing better to do with my life.  Oh yeah, and I taped a picture of Ryuuichi on my wall right next to my computer, and it's very bright and pink, so whenever I stop to 'think,' my eyes will wander over to my wall, straight in front of me, and there will be Ryu-chan, staring back at me, with those huge blue eyes.  He's been there for a while.  That's why this story is so bad.  Because he's really distracting with all his staring.  There's a tiny little spider crawling across his face right now.  If I stop mid-sentence, it's probably because it's bitten me and I've died.  But you wouldn't know if I even stopped mid-sentence, because I won't post this if I'm dead…

Disclaimer: I no own anything of or relating to.  I really have a hard time typing 'disclaimer.'  But that's okay, as long as I put the 's,' huh?

Chapter 4 

Yuki stared at the piece of paper with his little brother's scribbly handwriting all over it.  He could not believe it (well, he _could_ believe it, but he really didn't want to).  His brother was holding Sakuma hostage.  For ransom.  _Ransom_.  When all he had to do was ask if he ever wanted money.  Dumb ass.

Shuuichi was sobbing his eyes out and screaming about how Ryuuichi was gonna die.  Yuki sighed.  He was actually kind of worried about Ryuuichi too, though he would never admit it, but he could not deny the fact that his little brother was nothing less than a pervert.  Probably more than that.  At least he wasn't a necrophiliac, so at least Ryuuichi's life wasn't at stake, but that was only a small comfort.

Yuki read over the note again:

_Dear Aniki (Yuki Eiri),_

_I have Sakuma Ryuuichi.  If you want him back (which I'm sure you do, since you don't want to face Tohma's wrath), come to the park at 2 o'clock with the ransom money—¥500,000.  I will be there with Sakuma-san.  If you fail to show up, he'll get some, and I'm sure you know what I mean._

_                                                            With love,_

_                                                            Tatsuha_

"Dammit," Yuki cursed, tearing the note in half.  His hands slid down to his hip pocket for his cigarettes, when realization hit, and he cursed again.  "Which park is he talking about?"

"Oh, I bet it's the one where we first met!" Shuuichi said, gazing at Yuki dreamily.  Yuki looked at the pink-haired, purple-eyed, mop-headed idiot and sighed.  It had already been a long day, and it wasn't even noon yet.

"Shut up," he muttered, looking around to see if there was a vending machine around anywhere for some cigarettes.

"Yuki, it'll be so romantic!" Shuuichi whined, staring at the blue sky with glazed eyes.  "Just you and me, reunited in the place where we were struck with love at first sight, desperately fighting the evil kidnapper to rescue the handsome prince to return him safely home.  Aww, we should go there early so we can spend some time together."

"Shut up!" Yuki repeated.  "Tatsuha said to bring ¥500,000."

"So, we can stop home on the way and pick it up," Shuuichi said.

"Idiot!  I don't just keep that much money lying around in the house."

"Then we go to the bank," Shuuichi said.

"I'm not going to give Tatsuha that much just because he wants it and is playing a childish, not to mention illegal, game to get it."

"But Ryuuichi's in trouble!"

"Do you think I care?"  Well, actually he did, not only because of the threat of Tohma, but also because…Ryuuichi was…kind of…cute…  But that's only because he looks like Shuuichi.  Yeah.  

"Yukiiii…"

"Tch, I plan on getting the idiot back," Yuki muttered, hand instinctively reaching for his pocket for cigarettes.  Dammit.  "I'm just not going to sacrifice a large sum of money to do it."

"Yuki?"

"Don't get me wrong.  I'm only doing this for Tohma, not you or Ryuuichi…"

"YUKI!  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" Shuuichi cried, launching himself onto the disgruntled, disoriented, disorderly, discombobulated, distraught novelist.  And Shuuichi actually cried, with tears and all.

Tatsuha looked right, then left, then right again before running across the street, nervously glancing around for any sign of pink.  He had to find Ryuuichi quick.  He had already sent the ransom note to his brother, and if he didn't show up at the park, or worse, if he showed up with no Ryuuichi, he was certain that Yuki would kill him.  Literally.  And just by looking at him, too.  That was the most painful of all deaths, Yuki's death glare.  It was like looking at Medusa, only instead of turning to stone and dying, you just die.

Tatsuha stopped when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

"Tatsuha-san, what are you doing here in Tokyo?"  Tatsuha turned to see his most favoritest, not to mention richest, brother-in-law Tohma.  (Tohma was his favoritest, since Shuuichi couldn't really be considered an 'in-law,' since there was nothing lawful about his relationship with Tatsuha's brother).  

Tatsuha turned around to meet Tohma's gaze.  Tohma was wearing that smile.  That one that said, 'I know more than you do, idiot.'  Tatsuha hated that smile, because Tohma always wore it just before he was about to do something illegal, or annoying, one of the two.

"Tohma-san!  Nice to see you, really it is," Tatsuha said, smiling innocently.  He wondered briefly if Tohma already knew that he had kidnapped Ryuuichi and then promptly lost him.  He probably did know, seeing as though Tohma seemed to know everything.

"Yes, it is," Tohma said, his expression unchanging.  "But you never answered my question.  What are you doing here in Tokyo?"

The big, evil, glue-green eyes were burning his skin.  "Uh, I, uh, I…  Oh, I just came to visit you and Mika and Eiri, you know?"

Tohma's expression was still going strong.  "Indeed?  Why didn't you call, then?"

"Oh, uh, well, I was gonna, but then I ran into Aniki, and well… Umm…"

"And Ryuuichi too?"  Smile.

"No, Sakuma-san wasn't with him," Tatsuha said, trying to remember to breathe.  He was almost certain Tohma knew.

"That's strange.  I left Ryuuichi in his care," Tohma said.  "I hope nothing happened to him."  He didn't seem to be hoping too hard, though, because his smile didn't seem worried at all.

"Yeah, yeah, that is strange, isn't it?"  _He knows.  I know he knows.  Why is he acting like he doesn't know?  I know he knows I know he knows.  Why does he act like he doesn't know I know he knows I know he knows?_

"Well, I hope Eiri-san finds him soon," Tohma said.  He closed his eyes slowly, then opened them and with a flash of light, directed them towards Tatsuha.  "I would probably kill whoever was responsible, if Ryuuichi met any harm."

Gulp.  "Yeah, yeah, I hope so too."

"Well, then, it was nice seeing you again, Tatsuha-san," Tohma said, still smiling wickedly.  "But I must be getting back to work now.  You should stop by our house later on."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that," Tatsuha called as Tohma walked away.  The crowd in the street seemed to part for him, and Tatsuha wondered if it was because he was famous and they recognized him, or if it was because he was sending out evil I'll-kill-you-if-you-don't-get-out-of-my-way vibes.  It was possible that normal people just didn't want to get near anyone who was dressed in feathers and lace, especially if it was a man, though that might not be discernable just by looking at his face.  I wish I had as much style as Tohma.

Tatsuha shuddered a little, but once Tohma was safely out of sight, he hurried along in blind pursuit of a certain rock star we all know and love.

Ryuuichi wasn't sure how he and Kumagorou ended up in Chinatown.  But it was really cool.  There were a bunch of shops that looked like little pagoda temples, and lots of Chinese food places, and lots of Chinese stuff, and lots of Chinese people, and lost of old, worn down buildings that looked like they were about to collapse.  Ryuuichi felt like he was actually in China, only in Japan.

Ryuuichi walked into a shop.  There was Chinese music playing in the background.  It sounded pretty, but Ryuuichi couldn't tell who was playing it.  Maybe it was a cd.  Ryuuichi wanted to sing along, because he loved to sing, only he didn't know the words.  Maybe he didn't know the words because he didn't know how to speak Chinese.

"Welcome," the Chinese man behind a glass counter said with a heavy Chinese accent.  Wow, everything about this place really was Chinese…

"Hello," Ryuuichi said.  He then held up Kumagorou and helped him wave, which only made the Chinese man blink.  Blink, blink.

Ryuuichi lowered Kumagorou and blinked back.  He had never seen anyone so culturally stereotypical, other than K.  This man had a long, thin, pointed graying beard and two matching thin wisps of mustache that joined the beard below his mouth.  His face was wide, and his eyes were slanty, and he was old, and he wore those old man Chinese clothes that you always see in movies and a little black hat on his head, and he was balding but his hair was long and tied into a bun-thingy, and he was slightly hunched over.  He looked very Chinese.

The man coughed a raspy cough.  Typical dying old Chinese shopkeeper.  Ryuuichi wondered what kind of magical secrets he kept in the back room behind that black fringe over the door.  

"May I help you?" the Chinese man said after he finished coughing.

Blink, blink.  "Do you have any chocolate milk?"

The Chinese man looked a little confused, but smiled.  "No, sorry, I don't."

"Oh," Ryuuichi said sadly, lowering his head.  Then he noticed Kumagorou was looking at something, so he looked up to see.  It was really pretty and shiny, so Ryuuichi walked over to it and lifted his finger to touch it.  But then he remembered when he had touched Tatsuha's shiny eye and Tatsuha had gotten mad at him, so Ryuuichi thought maybe he shouldn't touch it.  Even though he really wanted to, he put his hand down.

"Ah, I see you've noticed our silver statues," said a heavily accented voice.  Ryuuichi looked around to see whom it had come from, then noticed a very stereotypical Chinese man behind a glass counter.

"Uhn, yeah," Ryuuichi said, nodding slightly.  He wondered just when the Chinese man had appeared there; Ryuuichi didn't remember him being there when he first came in.

The Chinese man coughed, then hobbled over to where Ryuuichi stood, leaning on a Chinese-looking cane for support.  Ryuuichi looked down at him.  There was something wrong.  Ryuuichi never remembered ever meeting anyone that was shorter than him, if you ignore Shuuichi and Fujisaki and Noriko, but they don't count because they're nearly as tall as Ryu-chan.  This old Chinese man barely went past his waist.  There must be something wrong with him.

"You have good taste," the man observed.  "You came to the prettiest ones first."

Ryuuichi looked at where the man was pointing.  There were shiny statues there.  They were very pretty, and Ryuuichi wanted to touch them, but then he remembered what happened when he had touched Tatsuha's shiny eye, and decided not to.

"Pretty!" Ryuuichi said gazing up at the statues.

"Yes, and they are very rare too," said a gruff voice.  Was that a Chinese accent?  Ryuuichi looked over to where it came from and saw a very short, stereotypical Chinese shopkeeper standing beside him.  That's strange, when did he get there?  He was pointing at something, so Ryuuichi looked up to see really shiny and pretty statues on a shelf there.  They were very pretty, and Ryuuichi wanted to touch them, but then he remembered what happened to Tatsuha's eye, so he decided not to.

"Pretty statues," Ryuuichi said, pointing up at them, just like the Chinese man was doing.  "I should get one for Tatsuha-san to apologize for poking him in the eye.  Yeah, I bet he'll like that."

The old man was staring at him.  Ryuuichi blinked down at him, noticing how Chinese he looked.

"Do you want one, then?" the man asked, just to make sure.  Ryuuichi nodded.  "Which one?"

"Eh?" Ryuuichi asked, blinking.  He looked up at the shelves, and noticed there was more than one statue.  "Uhn…  That one!" he pointed a little baby dragon curled around a staff.  "It's a dragon, just like Ryu-chan!!!"  (If you don't get that, you probably don't speak Japanese.  Either that, or you're not very observant.)

The old man climbed up onto a stool and picked the statue up off the self.  He held it lower for Ryuuichi to see, the latter nodding in approval.  The Chinese then brought the figurine to the glass counter and set it down next to a cash register.  Ryuuichi wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do, so he just followed the man.

"That'll be ¥5,000," the old man said, pulling out brown paper to wrap it with.  Ryuuichi squeaked and began to search his pockets, turning them inside out and emptying all their contents onto the counter.  There was a bunch of paper, most of which were notes from Tohma, reminding him to do something, but also most of which he never remembered doing.  There was also a large collection of miscellaneous items, including rubber bands, broken strawberry pocky (Ryuuichi found that on the ground and was gonna share it with Shuuichi), scotch tape, a pencil eraser, a shiny rock, and some pink strips of plastic.  There was also a crushed flower.  Ryuuichi wondered how that had gotten in his pocket.  Then he remembered that he had picked it for Yuki.  Now it was dead.  Tears began to gathering at the bottom of his eyes as he looked at the pretty pink flower.

The Chinese man, however, took these tears to mean that Ryuuichi was sad because he didn't have any money.  He smiled reassuringly, gently patting Ryuuichi's hands that still clutched the wilted flower.

"Don't worry, little boy," he said in his raspy Chinese accent.  "I'll put it on hold for you, and you can come back when you get more money."

Ryuuichi nodded through his tears, even though he hadn't really heard what the man said, but he remembered that nodding always seemed to satisfy Tohma when he looked at Ryuuichi with that raised eyebrow.  Just like it always satisfied Tohma, it also seemed to satisfy this man as well.

The man began to pick up all the junk laid across his counter and hand it to Ryuuichi.  Ryuuichi took it with a confused glance, wondering why the Chinese man was being so generous and giving him all this nice stuff, and then he put it back into his pockets.  They almost had everything back in its rightful place in the singer's pants when the man picked up a plastic card.  He looked at it quizzically, raising one eyebrow, then looked at Ryuuichi, then looked back at the card, then at Ryuuichi, then back at the card, then at Ryuuichi, then at the card, then at Ryuuichi, then at the card, then at Ryuuichi again.  His eyes stayed on Ryuuichi this time though, but he looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Wait, you're Sakuma Ryuuichi?" the man asked at last.  Ryuuichi looked around to see whom he was talking to, and when he saw that no one was around, he pointed to himself and blinked.  "Sakuma Ryuuichi, of Nittle Grasper?"

Ryuuichi blinked again, blink, blink, and then he nodded with a happy smile.  The Chinese man made a gasp-moan-sigh kind of noise and dropped the card back onto the counter, as if he were not allowed to touch it.  Ryuuichi picked it up and looked at it.  Oh, he remembered taking the picture for this card at the TMV, or maybe it was the RMV…  Or the DMV?  Oh well, it doesn't matter.  Tohma said that he had wanted Ryu-chan to get a license so that he could drive himself places and wouldn't have to rely on Tohma for rides or get lost trying to take the bus.  They took this picture and issued his license because Tohma paid them a lot of money, but Ryuuichi had thought he lost this card and he couldn't drive without it, so Tohma took him back to the picture place to get another one but they were closed down for illegal dealing…or something like that.  But now, Ryuuichi found the card again and Tohma would be so happy.

"The real…Sakuma…Ryuuichi?" the Chinese man was saying when Ryuuichi tuned him back in.  He looked like a really stereotypical old Chinese person.

Ryuuichi nodded with a smile.

"I-I don't believe it!  Why would Sakuma Ryuuichi want to come into a run-down store like this?  Heh, it's a gift from God!  It must be!  It's really nice to actually meet you, Sakuma-san!  I've waited so long for this!  I have all your cd's, and I've gone to as many concerts as I possibly can, and I think you are really great at singing, and you are the best, and you have the voice of an angel!" the Chinese man cried, and his voice suddenly didn't seem quite so raspy.

Ryuuichi smiled and scratched the back of his head.  "Thank you!  Wow, you're really nice, Mister!"

The man looked taken aback that the real Sakuma Ryuuichi had actually paid him a compliment.  He was silent for nearly five minutes, until Ryuuichi started to blink at him.  Blink, blink, blink.  Blink.

"Sa-Sakuma-san, uh, can I have your autograph?  I'll give you this dragon statue for free, if you give me your autograph!"

Ryuuichi blinked up at him.  Normally he would give autographs for free, without requiring anything in return, but he really wanted the dragon statue.  Besides, he had seen Tohma do things like this before, so it couldn't be too bad.  Ryuuichi pulled out a trusty permanent black ink marker magically from nowhere and held it up for the Chinese man to gaze at in awe.

The Chinese man had already produced a picture of Ryuuichi singing at one of his concerts with his eyes bright and sparkly.  Ryuuichi never realized how sparkly his own eyes were.

"My name's Ling Ho Zhang," the man said, pointing at the picture anxiously.  Ryuuichi pulled off the cap of the marker and began to write in his chicken scratch katakana.

"Ri-n-gu Ho Sha-n-gu," Ryuuichi narrated as he marked the picture.  "You're a nice person.  From—" and then he just scribbled in something that might be mistaken for 'Sakuma Ryuuichi.'

"Oh, thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!" the man said.  Three times.  Ryuuichi knew this, because he counted.  He said it three times.  The man finished wrapping the dragon statue in its brown paper, and then he handed it to Ryuuichi with a bow.  Ryuuichi smiled and waved as he dashed out the door.

"Wow, he was nice, huh, Kumagorou?" Ryuuichi said, once they were out of the shop.  "That was a funny name, though.  'Ri-n-gu Ho Sha-n-gu.'  I wonder if he's Chinese."  

Kumagorou said that he thought that he was.  Ryuuichi agreed.

Ryuuichi wanted to put the dragon in his pocket, but it was too big, so he had to carry it.  Kumagorou got kind of jealous, because he was just shoved between Ryuuichi's arm and his torso, but Ryuuichi told him not to be jealous because the dragon was for Tatsuha and Kumagorou was still his bestest friend.  That made Kumagorou feel a little better, but he still didn't like being carried under Ryuuichi's arm.

Ryuuichi was about to continue his aimless wanderings around Chinatown when he felt cold steel pressed up against his head.  Ryuuichi squeaked and tried to turn his head so he could see his attacker, but the gun was preventing him from doing so.

"I finally found you, Sakuma Ryuuichi," said a sharp, venomous voice.  Ryuuichi heard the gun being cocked.  "Where's your precious Yuki Eiri, now, huh?  And don't get your hopes up; Seguchi is _not_ coming to your rescue this time."  This was followed by the most evil cackling Ryuuichi had ever heard.


	5. Ryuchan gets to live with Shuchan!

The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln 

Notes:  That last chapter I said I wrote in the wee hours of the morning, but actually I wrote the first paragraph at 1:04 AM.  The rest I wrote in the afternoon in the bright daylight on a SUNday.  Yes, it was very sunny.  I don't like living in a desert.  It's _always_ sunny.  I hate it.  PEOPLE CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT THOSE LITTLE DROPLETS FALLING FROM THE SKY EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE, in theory, but that doesn't seem to stop us here in New Mexico.  And for those of you who don't know, New Mexico is part of the United States, not Mexico.  We're right between Arizona and Texas, idiots!  And I don't speak Spanish, thank you.  ¡El gato verde es alto!  Is that the right conjugation of 'is?'  I wouldn't know.  I don't speak Spanish.  That's all I can say.  But, the green cat is tall!

Enough on my rant about how catalogs don't ship to people in New Mexico because they don't ship outside of the Continental US.  Let's move on.  Uh, I think this might be ending soon.  I definitely do not like this as much as my Shuuichi's Special, but it gives me something to do during the day and the night and such.  So I'm continuing it on and on and on.  The question is, why is this so long?  I'm getting tired.  This is gonna be the last chapter…

My toe hurts.  I went to the doctor, and he gave me shots, and then cut it up and it hurt really badly…  Now I'm doped up on ibuprofen and I can't think.  Sorry.

Warning:  Yaoi, swearing, blinking, incoherence, fragments, and a whole bunch of Ryu-chan goodness.  Mm, Yummy.

Disclaimer:  Ehh…I don't own Gravitation.

Chapter 5 

Yuki glanced at his watch.  2:07.  Tatsuha was late.  Unless they were at the wrong park, but that would mean that Shuuichi had been wrong, and Shuuichi's never wrong about these things.

"Naa, Yuki…" Shuuichi mumbled in his sleep and curled up closer to Yuki on the park bench.  Yuki sighed.  He didn't know how the idiot had managed to convince him to come to the park early, and now they were cuddled up together because of the chilly weather.  And people were staring.  Apparently, to Yuki's dismay, they all realized that Shuuichi was a boy.

Sigh.

"Yuki…  Come and…save…me…" Shuuichi's fists tightened on Yuki's jacket.  "Save me…from the evil…red-eyed…rat pigeon…"

"God, you're even an idiot in your sleep, aren't you?" Yuki muttered, lovingly ruffling Shuuichi pink hair.  See, he was allowed to be all weak and lovey and mushy when Shuuichi was asleep, because then Shuuichi wouldn't know and he couldn't brag about it.  

"Yuki…" Shuuichi moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.  He seemed to be having a nightmare.

Yuki smiled and pulled Shuuichi into a tight embrace.  "Don't worry, idiot, I'm here."  He felt Shuuichi relax in his arms, and his smile grew even wider.  Oh, he loved his little pink fluff puppy.

"Oh, you two make such a cute couple!  Kind of like me and Sakuma-san!"

Yuki jumped, and upon realizing his little brother's eyes were bearing down upon him, he kicked Shuuichi off the bench and onto the ground.  Shuuichi moaned and opened his eyes lazily.

"Eh?  Tatsuha-san?  Where's Ryuuichi?" Shuuichi cried, though he had a big grin on his face.

Tatsuha got this look on his face.  "Well, uh…  Do you think I'd be so stupid as to just bring him here right away with me without checking to make sure you have the money first?  I know Aniki will just wrestle him away from me and not pay!"  Ooooh, Tatsuha was gooooood…  Shuuichi glanced nervously at Yuki.  After all, Tatsuha did just see through their plan.  Yuki looked unperturbed.

"And you think I'm just gonna pay you and expect you to return him?  How stupid do you think I am?" Yuki countered.  "How am I supposed to know you even have Ryuuichi in your possession, and aren't just trying to get money from me?"  Ooooh, Yuki was even better, hee-hee…

Tatsuha glared at Yuki, whom just glared back as he stretched comfortably out upon the bench.  Shuuichi looked at the latter, and his mouth began to water, so he sat up and rested his temple against Yuki's left knee.

"I, uh, of course I had—ah, have him!" Tatsuha stuttered, his confidence beginning to break.

"Then where is he?"

"Why would I tell you that?" Tatsuha smiled arrogantly.

"You couldn't, because you don't know, am I right?" Yuki asked.  Tatsuha's smile faded slightly.

"Just give me the money, and I'll bring him."

Yuki just stared at Tatsuha with a look of disbelief.  After a heavy silence, Yuki continued.  "What if I told you I don't have the money?"

Tatsuha blinked.  Blink, blink.  "You don't?"

Yuki lifted a menacing eyebrow in response.

"Well, uh, heeeey!  Don't you want to save him?" Tatsuha asked.

"Not me."

"What about Tohma?"

"What about him?"

"Well, he's gonna kill you when he finds out you lost Sakuma-san."

"And?"

"Aniki, are you suicidal?" Tatsuha asked with fake surprise in his voice.  Shuuichi lifted his head and stared at Yuki with worried, tearful eyes.

"Yu-Yuki, why do you want to kill yourself?" Shuuichi cried.  And he actually cried, with tears and everything.  "Is it because of me?  Because you…hate me?  That's it, isn't it?  YUKI, YOU HATE ME AND YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH—"

"If you say Sakuma-san, I'm going to kill you," Yuki said, giving Shuuichi a glare, but not the death glare because Yuki would never give his Shuuichi a death glare.

"But, Yuki, aren't you and Sakuma-san—"

"Idiot!  I already told you, I.am.not.cheating.on.you.with.him," Yuki said slowly, so Shuuichi could understand.

"Then why are you trying to kill yourself?" Shuuichi asked, tears still spilling onto his cheeks.

Sigh.  Yuki turned back to Tatsuha, since there's no use trying to argue with an idiot.  "Tohma will not kill me, I assure you of that."

"But—"  But there's really nothing he could say to that, seeing as though it was true.  Yuki was the last person in the world that Tohma would ever kill.

"So, do you or do you not know where Sakuma is?" Yuki persisted.

"Well, I was with him, but then he disappeared, and—"

"Idiot, you mean to tell me you had Sakuma, and you let him escape?"

"Hey, Aniki, if I recall, you did the same thing," Tatsuha said, regaining his arrogant demeanor.

"Twice," Shuuichi added.

"…Shut up…"

Tatsuha bent his neck back, readying himself to start cackling loudly at his brother's defeat, when a familiar voice stopped him.

"Shu-chan?"

Shuuichi looked around until his eyes rested upon his idol, standing in the middle of the park, with Kumagorou tucked under one arm and a brown package in his hands.  He looked really scared, and Shuuichi could tell why, seeing as though there was a gun pointed to the back of his head.  Shuuichi looked at Ryuuichi's attacker, whom was standing behind the singer with his free arm wrapped around Ryu-chan's skinny waist.

"K?" Shuuichi asked, blinking.  Blink.

Ryuuichi's face visibly relaxed, and his lips turned up into a grin.  "Oh, K?  That's you?" he asked, trying once more to turn to see his attacker, but K gripped his waist too tightly for that.

"K, what are you doing?" Shuuichi asked, rising to his feet and slowly approaching the trigger-happy American.

"I can answer that question," said a familiar, overly feminine voice.  Tatsuha and Yuki both gulped in unison, and Tatsuha took a stiff seat next to Yuki, whom had straightened on the bench.  Tohma emerged from the shadow of a nearby tree, wearing his usual long, flowing coat, and his tailed shirt, and—wait, that was different than what he was wearing before…  How many times a day did this man change?  No matter…  I just wish I were as stylish as Tohma.

Tohma walked up beside K and Ryuuichi, and nodded to K, who reluctantly removed the gun from Ryuuichi's head, looking very disappointed.  Ryuuichi slowly began inching away quietly when K turned his head to listen to Tohma's next words.

"You see, Eiri-san, this was all a test," Tohma said, smiling sweetly, though he still had that evil glint in his eyes.

"A test?" Yuki repeated, lifting a challenging eyebrow.

"Yes, a test," Tohma confirmed.  Smile, smile.  "I wanted to see if you were capable of taking care of Ryuuichi.  And apparently you aren't."

"And is there a reason you did this?" Yuki asked, halfway sarcastically.

"Yes," Tohma said, his smile lessening a little, though it was barely noticeable.  "Ryuuichi and Shuuichi are so much alike.  And if you can't take care of one, it means you can't take care of the other…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Yuki asked impatiently, searching his pocket for a cigarette.  Dammit.

"Well, you obviously can exercise no control over Ryuuichi.  It must be the same for Shuuichi as well, right?  I have a business to run, Eiri-san, and I can't have my precious singers being injured or left out in the cold at all," Tohma explained shooting a glance at Shuuichi as he spoke the words, 'precious singers.'

"And?"

"Well, you are not fit to take care of Shuuichi," Tohma proclaimed, holding his head high.

Yuki raised both his eyebrows this time.  "Oh, I get it," he muttered spitefully.  "This was just another one of your plans to break me and Shuuichi up, so you can have me all to yourself."

Tohma blushed and looked at Yuki.  Blink.  "Wha—no!  Of course not, Eiri-san… I just, I just wanted to make sure, you know, that Sh-Shuuichi is—"

"Tohma, you're stuttering," Yuki said, rising to his feet.  He grabbed Shuuichi's waist and dragged the boy along with him as he began to leave.

"Eiri-san!" Tohma called, taking a hasty step towards the couple, but stopped himself quickly.  Yuki turned around and glared at him.  With his death glare too, but Tohma was unaffected, because Tohma does not cower.  It's just not a very Tohma thing to do.

"Oh, Yuki-san!" Ryuuichi cried, running up to the blond novelist.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the wilted pink flower, his eyes tearing up again as he pulled a piece of lint off of it and held it up to Yuki.  Yuki's eyes were darting back and forth between the flower and its tearful owner.

"What?" Yuki asked, blinking.  Blink.

"For you," Ryuuichi said, holding the flower up even closer to Yuki's face.  "For letting me live with you, because, because I, because I—"

Seeing that the singer was about to burst out into tears, Yuki snatched the flower out of his cupped hands and placed it in his pocket.  He mumbled a little, "Thanks, Sakuma, it's really nice," but looked slightly embarrassed doing so.

"Speaking of which," Shuuichi said, resting his head against Yuki's shoulder, "since Yuki isn't fit to take care of you, are you still gonna live with us?"

Ryuuichi blinked at him.  Blink, blink. Blink, blink, blink.  "What?"

"No, he won't," Tohma said, walking up next to Ryuuichi and putting his arm around the singer's shoulders.  "Ryuuichi's going back home."

"But I thought that it burned down," Shuuichi said, blinking.  Blink.

"No, I just needed an excuse to get him in with you guys.  If his place had really burned down, I would have taken care of him myself," Tohma said, pulling Ryuuichi closer to him.  "I made Ryuuichi promise not to tell Yuki that his house hadn't burned down."

Ryuuichi looked at Tohma, then up at Yuki, then at Shuuichi, then at Tohma again.  He blinked.  Blink.  "Eh?  Tohma, my house burned down?" Ryuuichi squeaked as tears began to fill his eyes again.

Tohma stared at Ryuuichi in silence for a whole three minutes before sighing.  "Yes, Ryuuichi, it burned down.  Let's go."  No use trying to convince an idiot.

"Tch," Yuki said, glaring at Tohma.  "Just leave me alone from now on, okay?"

Tohma shrugged and began to lead Ryuuichi away, when he cried, "Wait!" and broke free of Tohma's grasp.  He then ran up to the bench where Tatsuha was sitting and held out the brown package.

"Uh, Sakuma-san?  For me?" Tatsuha asked.  When Ryuuichi nodded, he took the package and unwrapped it, looking at the sparkling dragon figurine.  "Wow, it's beautiful!  Thank you, Sakuma-san!  But, why?"

Ryuuichi's eyes filled with tears again.  "I'm sorry I poked your eye, Tatsuha-san.  I didn't mean to, really!"  With a little bow, he turned and ran off towards Tohma.

Blink, blink, blink.  Blink, blink.  Blink.  Blink.

"Wait, Sakuma-san!" Tatsuha called, once Tohma and Ryuuichi had reached the edge of the park.  "One...last…kiss…pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee!!!!!!" he cried between breaths as he took off after the pair.

_BANG!_

K cackled when he saw Tatsuha's form crumple to the grass.  He stroked his gun affectionately.

"I was hoping I'd be able to use this baby today," he said, and safely tucked it into his belt.  Ah, now that his work was done here, he would be able to retreat back to NG studios and drink soda and eat those little cake things that Tohma stocks the refrigerators with.  Yes.

Yuki sighed in satisfaction as he pulled the naked body of Shuuichi closer to him.  It had been a hot, wild, and exhausting night, so why had he woken so suddenly?  Yuki glanced around for his cigarettes, and upon finding none, he sighed irritably.  Over 24 hours with no cigarettes, and his body was starting to go through nicotine withdrawal.

It was then that he saw it.  There was a…creature…kneeling beside his bed, with another creature placed on top of the first creature's head.  And they were staring at him.  Like this:  O.O

Yuki shrieked and pulled the startled Shuuichi to the other side of him, in a sad attempt to protect him from this unknown visitor, before reaching over and turning on the light.  Suddenly that O.O face began to take on more human features in the light, and Yuki's amber eyes narrowed in frustration when the eyes turned into a wide, sparkling blue, covered by wisps of shiny brown hair, and a cute Shuuichi-like face appeared before him.

"Ryuuichi, what are you doing here?" Yuki growled, making sure the sheets were covering him and Shuuichi entirely.

"Sakuma-san?" Shuuichi asked, blinking the tiredness out of his eyes.

"Hey, Shu-chan!" Ryuuichi said, raising his hand in a wave.  With this gesture, however, Kumagorou fell off his head, and his hand snaked down to retrieve it.

"Why are you here?" Yuki repeated, debating whether or not to give Ryuuichi the death glare.

Ryuuichi blinked at him.  Blink, blink.  "MY HOUSE BURNED DOWN!!!" he cried very loudly and hid his face in the excess covers.

"Again?" Yuki asked, before remembering that his house hadn't burned down in the first place.  Speaking of which, it probably hadn't burned down this time either, and Ryuuichi was just being a little confused, thinking that he still lived here.  Great.

"Yeah," Ryuuichi said, lifting his face a little off the bed.  "Tohma said I should stay here, though."

"Wow, really?" Shuuichi asked, leaning over Yuki.

"Yeah.  Really—"

"I don't think so," Yuki said, pushing Shuuichi off him.  "Get out of here, Sakuma-san."

"But I brought you something, Yuki-san," Ryuuichi said, bending over to search his pockets.  He was wearing cargo pants now, which took even longer to empty, and soon the bedroom floor was littered with paper and other miscellaneous items, such as a few sticks of chewing gum, a chewed pen, a yellow umbrella, a rubber ducky, an oboe, a bazooka, a picture of him and Tohma, some paper clips, a copy of the Mona Lisa, even more paper clips, and some shiny rocks.  At last he retrieved what he was looking for and set it on the bed in front of Yuki.

Yuki picked up the present and stared at it, his mouth watering with the temptation.  It was probably the best gift anyone could have possibly given him at that point in time.  A whole pack of cigarettes.  Yuki didn't mind that they smelled like bubblegum and burnt popcorn.  They were cigarettes, and that was what mattered.

"Fine, you can stay," Yuki said, pulling the sheet around him and jumping out of bed in search of something.  Shuuichi screamed and rolled over onto his stomach.

"Quit staring at me, please, Sakuma-saaaaaaaaan!!!" Shuuichi whined.  "Yuuuukiiiii!!!"

O.O   Blink, blink, blink.  Blink.

Yuki was tearing up the living room, pulling over the tables, ripping up the couches, shredding the carpet, and ignoring Shuuichi's muffled screams.

"YUUUKIII!!!  YOU TOOK THE ONLY BLANKET!!!  YUUUUUKIIIII!!!  HE'S STARING AT ME!!!  MAKE HIM STOP RIGHT NOW!!!"

Yuki probably would have rushed back to the bedroom in order to gut Ryuuichi for looking at Shuuichi's sexy naked body, had he not been searching for something very important.

After the living room was in pieces, Yuki cursed loudly and held the pack of cigarettes in front of him, staring at them wistfully.

"Where the hell is my lighter?!?!"

The end.  Finally.


End file.
